Am I ready?

Last night while we were closing down my store, one of the associates looked at me and randomly said "do you want kids because I have been watching you over the last two weeks and can't help but notice that you would make an excellent parent." My eyes immediately watered up and I knew I couldn't divulge too much to an employee but I just kind of mumbled something like, "well I am actually going to have a baby in April or May." She looked at me, a but confused, but then immediately switched her glance to excitement and patted me on the back and said "congratulations, that is one lucky baby."

It's odd when you have moments like that and realize that God puts people in your life when you least expect it. For just a few seconds it was just Nina and I, not having to say much else, but knowing that at that moment in time we went to another place and had one of those ah-ha connections.

Her comments also reaffirmed some self doubt that I have had over the last three months and especially month since I got to Chicago. There is a very good chance that I might have to solo parent, at least for awhile, and while the thought of raising a child on my own is frightening, it also is my duty to Harper. When Nina said those kind words, I thought if a perfect stranger can see that in me while I am at my worse mentally and physically than maybe I will do alright here in the parenting department.

When my ex and I decided to start trying for a baby it was comments like Nina's from dozens of people that made her want to start trying. She told me once that people would tell her all the time, even after meeting me once, that they think my purpose in this Earth was to become a parent. I laughed when she told me this. It's usually the guy searching for the girl who would make an excellent mother, but apparently (once again) I have to be the untraditional one! I can't be pigeon holed!