Thursday, January 3, 2013

Seven months later

It has been almost seven months since I've posted to my blog. Somehow life got in the way. And in many ways, I'm grateful that it did. So much has changed for me since my last post, all of it amazing, wonderful, chaotic, and interesting. Just the way I like it. I'm sitting on the beach, alone today on January 3rd, 2013. I'm staring at the ocean, reflecting on the past seven months, and so thankful for the gifts I've been showered with. Here's the rundown. I'm officially a Los Angeles resident. I am the store manager of my very own flagship store that opened last Friday. I'm the daddy to the most incredible 20 month old baby girl who shines brighter than the sun on Venice Beach today. I have found the true love of my life. I have amazing friends and family and am making it a priority to make a meaningful memory everyday. In October, we packed up and moved from Sacramento to Los Angeles (after a grueling apartment hunt and emotional goodbyes to so many that we loved). Hours on the ground, I began a whirlwind three month trip between San Diego, Las Vegas (Stephen's dirty thirty), Denver, San Diego a few more times, Tucson, Sacramento, and finally landing back in Los Angeles in the middle of December to open my store. On one of my brief trips home for a weekend, my ex wife and her boyfriend (I promise I couldn't even make any of this up if I tried) invited me to a BBQ with some old friends that lived here where they wanted to introduce me to this mutual friend they knew. As I came down the stairs, Harper in hand, I laid eyes on him. And I knew, from that very second that he was it for me. He is an actor (quit rolling your eyes), originally from the east coast, but an LA resident for ten years with an overwhelmingly awesome group of friends that have welcomed me into their club with open arms. And did I mention he may be the hottest human being I've ever seen in real life (and if you've met him, you're probably shaking your head yes too)? We began our journey with a date...to the pumpkin patch with Harper. And from that day forward, and ideally every day after this, we've fallen deeper and deeper in love. He is magnificent. The type of person that you want to emulate. Witty, funny, caring, easily relatable, and gives as much as he gets. And did I mention that he adores Harper? And she does the same in return. When I first came out, I always thought in the back of my mind that I would be single for a long time. The more men I dated, I realized that all gay men SAY they want the traditional life...white picked fence, 2.5 kids, and a golden retriever in the backyard. But when push comes to shove, very few (and I mean VERY) actually do. So when I met him, and I carefully evaluated his responses and interactions with my beautiful baby, I honestly couldn't believe it. They were, and still are, authentic and genuine. It actually took me several weeks of having to look at myself in the mirror and say, "you aren't dreaming, this is your real life" to believe it. And he renewed this feeling in me that maybe, someday I might actually want a brother or sister for Harper. That's right, more kids! Or one more. But yeah, that guy that up until four months ago told every customer, every friend, every family member that I was D-O-N-E is singing a new tune these days. It's funny how one person can shift your entire life. For me, he has breathed new life in me. This year, I'm not setting any New Years resolutions, other than to continue building on the things I'm already doing. Be a better daddy. Be a better boyfriend. Be a better brother, son, nephew, friend, ex husband, friend, grandson, cousin, employee, manager, and the list goes on.... And I already feel like I've been pretty darn steady and reliable up until now, so it will be a challenge to figure out how to get better and better with each passing day. I'm happy. I'm smiling. I'm content.