Monday, October 10, 2011

Changes

I've got a mad case of the Monday's.

I just returned home from such an amazing weekend in Las Vegas with my best pals from Chicago.  Vegas is so much fun, and it was great to cut lose, gamble, drink, and party it up the entire weekend.  One of the highlights was seeing The Lion King in it's final year on the Strip.  It was incredible!  Oh and The Amazing Race Slot Machine, and The Ghost Busters Slot Machine, and the Craps tables, and the Dance Clubs, and Mimosa's for breakfast, and beers for lunch, and Vodka for dinner...it was a wild time. 

Being away from my baby for almost a week was really hard.  I don't ever want to be away from her for that long again.  She is growing so fast right now and missing a week at this age is just way too much.  It felt so good just to snuggle with her and whisper to her cute self how much I love her tonight.  I know everyone says that you can't describe a love you have for your child until you become a parent, but it's so true. 

Harper is five months old today! She loves her solid foods (she even had some peas tonight!), is nearly crawling (pulling herself up onto her forearms), and loves sticking her tongue out.  She is still sleeping through the night, which is absolutely amazing!  After working in a baby store and seeing some parent's who literally look like they got run over by a bulldozer, I thank God every single day for my little angel. She lights up every day, her laugh is infectious, and she brings more joy to my life than I've ever known.

Wow, have things changed in five short months.  Today I had to make a painstaking decision that I've been avoiding for most of the summer.  After my marriage fell apart, I escaped to Chicago for the winter, and came back in time for Harper's birth.  I started making repayments on my house as I continued to work with the bank on the payments I missed.  I found out about 6 weeks ago that the bank did not want to work with me, but continued to pay on time in hopes that we would work out something.  Today, after doing a lot of research and consulting with some experts, I have decided to let this house go.  Trying to get current will destroy my credit even worse than just simply walking away from the house, and continuing to pay is getting me absolutely nowhere.  I've been really tormented by this decision, as I loved this house from the moment I saw it.  On the flip side, it's an older home that needs a lot of work and it holds so many memories for me of my past.  While I will be so sad to see this home go, I look forward to a fresh start in a fresh home that is not tied to my ex-wife or ex-life.  And renting for a few years will give me the ability to save up some money, rebuild my credit, and hopefully move on to more happiness before Harper is ever old enough to even know that her Dad was so reckless and irrational during this stage of her life when it came to finances.  So October marks my farewell to my marriage (our divorce will be final in the next few weeks) and my beautiful home, but 2012 will be a much needed fresh start and I am very excited for that.